A frustrated mother is scolding her daughter, who is covering her ears and looking away, sitting on a couch in a bright living room.

Top 5 Tips for Managing Anger in the Home: Insights from a Developmental Educator & Behaviour Support Practitioner

Parent Tips
February 03, 2025•5 min read

Introduction:

When your child reacts to non-preferred demands with anger or frustration, it can feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells. But with the right tools and strategies, it is possible to create a calmer, more supportive home environment.

At Impactful Solutions, we specialise in providing tailored behaviour support to families of children with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). As a Proficient Behaviour Support Practitioner and Developmental Educator, I am passionate about helping families navigate these challenges and achieve meaningful progress.

A close-up of a child holding an adult's hand outdoors, symbolizing care and protection.

One of the most rewarding moments in my practice involved working with a young girl with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) who was described as “violent and explosive” towards her siblings when things went wrong. Her outbursts were a source of stress for her family, and her parents felt at a loss for how to help and it was taking a huge toll on the entire family unit.

Through a combination of strategies, we taught her how to breathe through difficult moments. We used visual cards, role-playing, and videos to practise these skills when she was calm. One day, her mum called me with incredible news. Instead of hitting her brother—something she had done many times in the past—she closed her eyes, took deep breaths, and said, “I’m going to use safe hands.”

That moment was a turning point for her family, showing that progress is achievable, even in the most challenging situations. If your family is facing similar struggles, help is available. Click here to complete a referral for specialist behaviour support.

A happy family of four sits together on a couch in a bright living room, engaged in a warm conversation.

Here’s how you can start making positive changes in your home today.

1. Use Non-Verbal Communication to De-Escalate

Non-verbal communication is often more powerful than words, especially for children with ASD or ADHD who may struggle with verbal communication during heightened emotions. Research shows that non-verbal cues account for over half of our interactions.

Three smiling children lie on the floor surrounded by colorful confetti, looking up at the camera. Two of them are waving playfully.

  • Tip: Maintain a calm and open posture. Avoid crossing your arms or using abrupt gestures. Your tone of voice should be soft and steady to help create a safe environment.

  • Tip: When your child is upset, get down to their eye level, use a soft voice, and nod to show understanding.

2. Identify and Address Triggers Early

Angry outbursts are often a response to unmet needs or environmental triggers. Identifying and reducing these triggers can prevent escalation.

A young child wearing red headphones sits cross-legged on a couch, engaged with a tablet, in a bright room with dinosaur decorations.

  • Tip: Keep a diary to track patterns in your child’s behaviour. Look for common triggers, such as transitions, sensory sensitivities, or hunger, and make proactive adjustments.

  • Tip: If loud noises are a trigger, provide noise-cancelling headphones or create a quiet corner where your child can retreat when overwhelmed.

3. Teach and Practise Calming Strategies

Children often lack the tools to self-regulate in stressful situations, making it essential to teach these skills during calm moments.

A cozy children's playroom with a small tent, a teddy bear inside, and a mountain-themed wall mural in the background.

  • Tip: Use visual supports, role-playing, and practice to help your child learn strategies like deep breathing or counting to 10. A “calm kit” with items like sensory toys, visuals, or a favourite calming activity can also be useful.

  • Tip: Introduce phrases like “safe hands” or “I need a break,” and practise using them in everyday scenarios.

4. Set Limits Positively and Respectfully

Setting boundaries doesn’t have to feel punitive. Positive language can guide behaviour and reduce defensiveness.

A mother stands with a stern expression while a young girl sits with her arms crossed, looking upset.

  • Tip: Focus on what your child can do rather than what they shouldn’t. Use clear, simple instructions.

  • Tip: Instead of saying, “Don’t throw that,” try, “Let’s put the toy down gently.”

5. Take Care of Yourself to Better Support Your Child

Parenting is hard, and managing challenging behaviours can take a toll. Prioritising your own wellbeing is crucial for your ability to support your child effectively.

A flat lay of self-care items, including oils and a massage brush, next to a letter board that reads "Self Care Isn't Selfish."

  • Tip: Schedule regular self-care activities, even if it’s just a short walk, a coffee with a friend, or a moment to breathe.

  • Tip: Teach your child that you also use calming strategies. Model this behaviour by saying, “I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths.”

Additional Resources for Parents

Here are some evidence-based resources to support your journey:

  • Mindfulness Videos for Kids:

  • Cosmic Kids Zen Den (Mindfulness and relaxation for children)

  • GoNoodle’s Flow Channel (Short brain breaks and mindfulness exercises)

  • Sensory Tools and Visuals:

  • Printable visual aids from Do2Learn

  • Ideas for calm-down kits from Raising Children Network

  • Books for Parents:

  • Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2012). The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind.

  • Greene, R. W. (2008). Lost at School.

• Evidence-Based Brain Breaks:

  • GoNoodle for quick, fun physical activities that help children refocus.

  • “Five Finger Breathing” exercise videos on YouTube.

  • Carer Gateway – A Simple First Step for Support

The Carer Gateway is a free national service that provides practical and emotional support for carers. It’s designed to make life easier for families who are supporting someone with additional needs, offering access to:

  • Free counselling and peer support groups.

  • Respite care options to help you take a break.

  • Tailored advice and coaching to support your role as a carer.

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Ready to Take the Next Step?

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, help is available. As a Proficient Behaviour Support Practitioner, I specialise in working with families of children with ASD and ADHD to develop tailored strategies that create calm, supportive environments.

Click here to complete a referral for specialist behaviour support.

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You don’t have to do this alone. With the right support, positive change is possible for your child and your family.

A group of healthcare professionals stacking their hands together in a gesture of teamwork and unity.

“It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken adults.”

– Frederick Douglass

References

• Mehrabian, A. (1971). Silent Messages: Implicit Communication of Emotions and Attitudes.

• Greene, R. W. (2008). Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioural Challenges Are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them.

• CPI. (2021). Nonviolent Crisis Intervention Training Program.

• Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2012). The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind.

• Neff, K. (2011). Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself.

Business Development and NDIS Allied Health Professional Specialist

Kylie Izquierdo

Business Development and NDIS Allied Health Professional Specialist

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